I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize