I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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