What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
