Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
