you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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