Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
