I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize