Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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