We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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