I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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