i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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