the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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