I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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