Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
