Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
