But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
