Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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