I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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