How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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