There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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