She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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