smell my finger.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
