Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
