therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You ate ashes out of my bong
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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