Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
