we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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