make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
