I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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