Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
