I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
