i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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