She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
