i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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