god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
