an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
