apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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