so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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