His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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