Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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