You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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