there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
