How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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