I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
2020 sucks, I want a refund
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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