So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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