Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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