hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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