2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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