My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
