You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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