During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
