that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
