btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just high enough for therapy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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