She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
