rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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