Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
