im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
