you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
