I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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