Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
