I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
