I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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